Asymmetry in Reproductive Choice between the Sexes

Since impregnation is always in the other, the male knows only through trust and vicarious identification that the fetus or offspring is his own. And only perhaps through pragmatic proofs such as physical or behavioral similarities and DNA tests is his role in conception garnered with empirical probability. The sometimes tenuous and always mysterious relation of fatherhood to offspring may well be reflected in folk comments on the often fatuous similarities between the infant and the identified biological father. The male may sire, but his progeny may never be brought to term either by fetal loss through miscarriage with its mysterious links to biological and psychological causes or by intentional abortion. The male may sire, but never be informed of the pregnancy or the birth of offspring. The male may sire, but the progeny be unattended.
In the birth and nurture of offspring, the contemporary relation between the sexes in much of the West introduces a large asymmetry in reproductive choice and rights. In or out of marriages, the female controls a set of decisions: (1) Timing of coitus to conceive or not conceive; (2) To inform the partner or not inform or even to misinform the partner of conception; (3) To consent to carry or abort the baby. Males have reproductive control only with reference to the act of coitus and to withhold or perform even though timing itself is largely under female control (coitus without female consent in marriage is designated “spousal rape”). As a final facet of female agency, she may choose or not choose to (4) Breast feed. Consent to breast-feed the infant enhances reproductive survival, particularly in tropical countries. Since breast-feeding promotes resistance to disease and infant well-being, breast-feeding is included as a component reproductive choice. Breast-feeding engages the mother in what Ashley Montagu has called the period of “extra-uterine gestation ” Therefore in contemporary Western culture, the exercise of female choice around conception and birth is multi-layered. Females are the gatekeepers of future offspring. The contemporary male, divested of traditional culture and religious tradition, is contingent.